What's wrong with me...

I've been eating nonstop.
CRAP food.
no gym for two whole days.
that's a record.
 I swear.
I don't know what has come upon me, I just gave up on myself.
My self-worth is invisible beyond repair.
I need help.
I'm going home today, so i'm not too concerned.
That's the biggest lie i've told in a while. Next to i'm fine.
Somebody needs to help me ASAP.
NOW
SOMEBODY SEE THAT I'M DESPERATE FOR HELP
I CAN'T BE ALONE
I NEED TO FEEL LIKE I AM NOT FIGHTING THE FIGHT BY MYSELF
AND LOSING AT LIFE.
I AM BETTER THAN THIS, I HAVE TO BE
GOD WOULD NOT GIVE ME THIS FUCKING EATING DISORDER IF HE DIDN'T THINK I COULD HANDLE IT
BUT THATS THE THING, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT
there is no having control over an eating disorder, or it wouldn't really be an eating disorder
self defined, it is losing the control of your eating habits and how you look at yourself.
i have poison in my body, pure poison
to have such self hatred should be a sin. i wish it was gone.
it's too much work, and i'm going through it alone.
I don't even think I can trust Liz, I don't think she is genuine.
Whatsoever. I feel like I have to watch behind my back nonstop.
It's more annoying than anybody could ever imagine, to feel like the people who you surrounded yourself with for the past 4 or 5 months, are faker than a barbie doll.
Somebody tell meit will be okay.
YOU DON'T NEED TO BE MY FRIEND, OR EVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.
just tell me i'm fine
please.